The other night my husband and I were at a dinner party. It was a small gathering – just the host, whose wife was out of town, a couple who we know, and another couple we’d never met before. We all chatted over drinks and then sat down to eat. At some point during dinner, the woman to my right, who I know well, suggested we go around the table and talk about what we’re doing this summer. A couple of people talked about their travel plans, which sounded lovely, and then it was my turn. Something came over me at the last second and this is what I came out with: “I’m going to be spending the summer in jail because I robbed an A&P supermarket and was arrested. I had to wear an ankle bracelet, but I got it off. But they found out and they’re putting me in jail.”
Did I realize at the time that the A&P grocery store chain has been out of business since 2015? Well, no. But who needs little things like facts to get in the way when you’re on a roll? I probably could have gone on longer, but when I saw the face of the woman across the table from me – the one I’d just met – I burst out laughing and admitted it was a joke. I had to. She looked horrified. Her jaw, which had literally dropped, stayed open even after I “came clean” and everyone else was laughing. She probably figured I’m a maniac – either because I really had robbed an A&P or because I was nuts enough to tell that story. Maybe in my next life I’ll come back as an improv actor?